Roger Avary has worked on a few movies that I've enjoyed. Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs. Wait, those were Tarantino movies for the most part. Oh hey Mikey, he also did The Rules of Attraction. Wait, that was a pretty damn plain adaptation of the Ellis novel. So I guess he's the kind of scriptwriter who needs help when it comes to writing his scripts.
Silent Hill, no exception. The characters run around acting like little kids playing imagination games. "Bar the door!" "I'll bar the door!" "Get the bar!" "I'm getting it I'm getting it!" "Here use this rope to get around these things! That was really dangerous!" In fact, it's pretty hard not to imagine them all as little kids playing some kind of game in a park. "You have to go do these tests or else I'll burn you at the stake! They're the witches!" "Burn the witch! Burn the witch!"
If you're familiar with the games, you'll recognize the story. This time the part of Harry Mason is played by a woman. So anyway Harrietta Mason has this adopted daughter and drives her in a car near the abandoned town of Silent Hill for whatever reason and there's a girl in the middle of the road and they attempt to not hit her and they turn the car off the road and crash and Harrietta wakes up all alone in an abandoned town. Furthermore, suddenly and for no reason these air raid sirens start blaring, the world turns grey and shit, and all these monsters appear from nowhere. And they even give Radha Mitchell a flashlight, just for shits and giggles.
There's lots of things I like about this movie which should make it great. The fact that he has it set in a town ravaged by a coal fire. That is sexy. Not enough people know about coal fires. I like coal fires. I like abandoned towns. I like air raid sirens. I like Silent Hill, too. It's just that even though these ideas are great, they're not enough for me. No part of the whole movie was I actually scared. Not one part. This is in high contrast to the games where I'd pussy out like crazy. But this was just exactly the opposite. There was not one part where I was remotely scared. I have never felt this way about a horror movie before, but I think it could've benefited from a few cheap fucking scares. Even with the long drawn out scenes where monsters would drag themselves across the floor spewing pus and acid, I was too busy wincing at Pyramid Head to notice.
Again. Pyramid Head. Pyramid Head for no reason. No reason at all.
Avary planned to make a sequel, but then he got drunk and killed someone in a car accident. So now he's in jail. I'm not sure where I was going with this. I'm drunk too. Moral is, kids: don't get drunk and kill people, or else you won't ever be able to make shitty movies like Mr. Avary.
*shakes head* I'm not even going to say anything.
ReplyDeleteWhy Pyramid Head do anything cool, like rip someone's skin off?
ReplyDeleteOh, wait. He did. They just didn't show it.
Fuckin' Roger Avery.
And Killing Zoe sucked, for the record.
It's funny how you automatically think it's something with that character that I've made a statement. When in actuality it's the movie as a whole. When you've played all the games and look into what was actually done to make the movie possible. You appreciate it on a different level than the video games. Several elements of the movie are distinctly different than that of the video game series and it was done so on purpose. Hell through out the WHOLE movie there's game references lol which is pretty cool. Anyhow when you read and watch the documentaries on what exactly went down for the movie you'd might get a different feel. Though it being you however I highly doubt you would. And as for the scrip writing...I'm not a professional script writer and neither are you for that matter. And I believe that the issue you seem to be working at actually lies within the game itself. Though you'd know that if you played through out all of them. So it's really not the script writing or anything like that in my "uneducated" opinion. Also it's only natural that you wouldn't be afraid of the movie, unless you're that much of a baby lol; because unlike the game where it's you controlling where this person is going and has to do..this is a movie where you're simply a voyeur watching on as someone else endures their own fate. The movie doesn't really come on as a 'Scary Movie' for lack of a better term I'd say a "Nightmarish Drama" it makes more sense that way. And I know what you're saying to yourself..I'm only making these statements because I'm a Silent Hill fan. In which I'd have to say, I am a fan but I don't believe this movie was as 'shitty' as you're claiming it to be. However everyone is entitled to their own opinion and some people out there just like to be dicks or what have you, but unless you have something better then you're the only one looking like an ass really. Movies are both loved and hated this was no box office explosion ordeal it was about an average movie and in my opinion did a hell of a lot better than most video games movie cross-overs. Anyhow those are my two cents leave it at the door since feathers are probably fluffed out.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't talking to you. That was just my comment on the review. This wasn't my review. This was Mikey Porter's review. I didn't write this. He did. It says so under the review. And Mikey Porter is a Silent Hill fan. Right, Mikey Porter?
ReplyDeleteAlso, while I'm on the subject, I'd like to point out my opinion is very obviously uninformed and posted for the sake of being silly. I made a half-joke about wanting to see Pyramid Head ripping someone's skin off. Which I did, but the fact that I didn't get to really didn't piss me off. Also, Killing Zoe was boring. Unrelated, but true.
ReplyDeleteMikey Porter has played through at least a couple of the games, but I want to say he's played everything except for maybe Homecoming. I'd say that justifies his outlook on the film as a solid opinion. Perhaps something you might disagree with, but this doesn't make him an ass. He is an ass, but that's not the reason he's an ass. He's an ass because he's white. And white people are the devil.
As for me? Yeah, okay, maybe I look like an ass for trying to make teh funnies, but I always look like an ass and nothing I ever say is truly funny.
Also, waffles.