V/H/S

I kept waiting for things to be tied together, or make some kind of sense, but it didn't. It's just a small collection of horror shorts. Not bad. Not particularly special, but not bad. Has its moment.

6/10. Probably wouldn't watch again.

Django Unchained

Ahhh, Quentin Tarantino. What can I say about that loopy man?
I don't like him. Him as a person. I think he's obnoxious as fuck and he reminds me of a 13 year old kid who just recently got access to rated R movies. Like, the kinda guy who misses the point of A Clockwork Orange and just likes it because people get raped and die.

But how do I feel about his movies? Well, they're interesting. I liked his golden age a lot, that is to say Reservoir Dogs through Jackie Brown, Jackie Brown being my favorite. Kill Bill was worth watching once, but wasn't really all that interesting or worth repeated viewings. I get it, she kills Bill, woooooo. The journey there is nothing special.

Then we have Death Proof, which has two good scenes in it, one of them being quite possibly the most fantastic goddamn car chase I've ever seen in a film that I refer to as excellent masturbation to a disappointing as fuck climax, ruined by a matter of personal taste with cartoonish violence. I'd rather see someone get kicked on the ground than punched about like one of those wacky clown punching bags that never stays down.

So, I didn't like that movie. How did I feel about Inglourious Basterds?
I hated it. The first ten minutes were fucking brilliant, had me on the edge of my seat in the theater, and despite my ex girlfriend whispering "I'm bored, let's leave," into my ear, I was really involved in that first scene. Easily the most suspenseful scene he's ever done. And while she managed to eventually talk me into leaving the theater, after seeing that first scene, I really didn't want to. I wanted to know what happened.
Too bad the rest of the movie fucking SUCKED. We watched it on DVD shortly after its release, and oddly enough, I found we had switched seats, with her saying "you know what? This movie is pretty good," and me wishing to god it would fucking end already.

Which brings me to Django Unchained. I saw the trailer, and the trailer actually looked fun and interesting, but I wasn't about to let my guard down. Tarantino has been too much of a disappointment since Jackie Brown for me to do that.
How do I feel about Django Unchained?

I loved it. I want to see it again. It might be my favorite Tarantino film ever.
The movie is a lot of fun, and while some stylistic choices are hard to grasp into at first, namely quick zooms and music choices, I found myself warming up to to them and finding yourself right at home. I'm not a big fan of action films, but the action here is a lot of fun and the violence is fucking beautiful. Thank you Tarantino, for using squibs and not pooping all over your movie with ugly CGI blood splatter.

The acting is good - really good. Christoph Waltz is fantastic and I love every minute his character is on screen. Leonardo DiCaprio does something really different, and plays the villain for once. And he's not just a villain, he's really despicable, self indulgent, racist and ignorant. A grotesque example of what it is to be a human being, and he portrays it quite wonderfully.
Even Jamie Foxx, who doesn't say a whole lot, really shines with his ability to react subtly to the events that unfold.  Sam Jackson is Sam Jackson, but it's really amusing to see him play the most unlikeable black man in history, bonus points for that character.

The story is pretty simple, and while the movie is long, it doesn't feel like you're in the theater for almost three hours. I didn't even mind that I had to piss for the last third of the film, because I was so involved.

Complaints? Well, I do have some. Brumhilda, the love interest is completely lacking in character and development. They should have changed her name to Miss McGuffin. Quentin Tarantino is a bad actor and needs to stop showing up in his movies. Things were predictable to some degree because it's Tarantino, and we know Tarantino, but that's forgiven due to good delivery.

Closing thoughts? I told the lady that I liked it a lot, and it was worth the 5.50 to see it during the matinee before it leaves the theater. Her response? "I figured that movie was going to suck. Inglourious Basterds was a pile of shit, except for the first ten minutes."

Ah, yes.

Twin Peaks Season 1

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Dogtooth

My little baby's growin' up! :3

<3

8.9/10

August Underground

Like the fat loser trying to gross out all the girls by putting bugs in his mouth on the playground. It's not really effective to me. Just sad.
This is the whole film. Boring, stupid and juvenile.

Not really worth the wasted time.

Suddenly all these people begin to swarm the hills. A hundred faces, he sees. But none of them see him. I feel as though I've experienced this before.

Irreversible

Okay, so after I stand alone kicked me right in the balls and both simultaneously and paradoxically made me squeal with delight and madness, I decided to check out the rest of this Noe feller's work.

First and foremost, when I want to know if a film's worth checking out, I generally turn to Sean, the only person in existence that I suspect watches more film than I do.
So, I says, I says, SEAN! Hast thou seent I stand alone?
And he was like; Yes'm.
And I'm all like; DID YOU LOVE IT LIKE YOU SHOULD?
And he says, he says, Yes'm, it's the best thing Noe has done.

So, then I ask about Irreversible.

"Rape and fire extinguishers," he says. "Pretty much all the film has going for it."

In a way, he was kind of right. Those were easily the most impressive scenes in the film. The violence is deliciously graphic, and the rape scene is realistic and impressive on a few levels. About ten minutes of continuous shot for this scene, which isn't necessarily an easy feat to accomplish. Oh, and what's this? THE CAMERA ISN'T CONSTANTLY MOVING DURING THIS SCENE?! YAY! FOR FUCKING FINALLY.

About the first half of the film is shot unconventionally, which on some levels I feel like I should give him credit for, but on others it's like, come on, goddamnit, stop moving the fucking camera. I'm getting nauseous. Luckily I don't drink anymore, or this might make me throw up.

The movie is in reverse chronological order. There are about twelve scenes, and it starts with the ending and works its way back. The problem with this is that once you get past the major plot points in the film that happen towards the middle and end, the rest is just buildup. It's not bad, but it's kinda strange to sit through. The camerawork calms down, but there's less and less happening that's anywhere close to interesting as the film progresses.

One of the most impressive things about this film is that there was no script involved. It was a three page outline of basic events that have to happen, and the rest was improvised and slapped together on the fly. For the method of construction of this movie, it came together really well, and didn't really seem to suffer all that much from its lack of preparation.

I have mixed feelings about this movie. Really good at points, tries too hard to be stylistic in others. For one of my least favorite Noe films, it has two of his most impressive scenes. It's definitely worth the watch, if you have the stomach for this kind of material.

I really like Noe's brain. I wouldn't mind walking around inside of his head for an hour or two.